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Push Yourself

Motivition
Every time I make the right steps same thing push me back to Negative. that feeling that I am not good enough, that I am not better enough.
People right that they say to stay away from negative people. it is amazing how it effect you. Same of the people maybe important to you but they not the right people to keep around you.
It is not easy it is like break up with same one you love and say it’s not you it’s me.
I always thought that been alone it is most worst thing ever, today I say been around people that not really like you it is more worst then be alone.
they can take your peace, your motivation and most of all they kill Your dreams.
I can still hear my soul screaming in night. “what you did? what you turn us to. It’s cant be true! You mess fix it.”
You feel your mind start running, try to remember how it feel before, how it was before.
Many question open up again one by one… looking for answer in the darkness…
Working day a night. And the mind scream “Push Yourself…!”
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Posted by on March 14, 2017 in Short Story, Uncategorized

 

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Live without You – Chapter 3

Lonely-Sad-Man-2.19

Joe get back home. He fold his jacket on the floor, Open the tie and throw it on the sofa when he walking to the bedroom. He sit on the bed and Rubs his eyes. He look up and saw their wedding photo set on the wall. He stand up and look closer on it. He remember how much great day it was. they both was so happy in that time, ready to start they life together.

He saw Allen smile and start to hear her laughing in side his mind. He always try his best to keep her happy no matter what. He remember the days when the cancer get more stronger and Ellen lose the ability to stand up and walk. All the days she was stay in the bed. Joe saw how her smile was disappear and did everything to bring it back.
One day he get enough of it. he pick her up on his hand and take her to trip in the city. It was not really a trip but it did help Ellen to forget all the pain and bring her smile back. He was ready to do everything to bring her smile back. But now… Now it is over. This caner take the most important thing in my world.
He get angry. he take the chair that was in the room and throw it on the wall. wedding photo was fold on the floor and the glass get broke. He fold on the knees and start cry. Noting was can stop him from crying. “Ellen why you leave me alone Ellen…” He fold on the floor and cuddle himself.

it was a raining day and  Joe mother was looking from the window, worry about her son.
“Honey are you OK?” Her husband ask her.
“I am fine I am just worried about Joe. I feel like I must go and see if he is OK” she said. her husband come stand next to her and put his hand on her shoulder
“Don’t worry he be fine.”
“no jack. he is not, he still love her. we should go there right now.” She tell him and go to get ready.

His parents get to his house and start knocking on the door but no one answer them them. His mother get more panic and knocked the door more hard.
“Joe, Joe honey open the door” she said but no one answer her.
“Joe please open the door. it’s us your parents, we just want to check how you doing.” But still no one answer them. His father start to bit the door when his mom keep pushing the doors.
When they get to open the door they both run In side. they saw the wedding photo on the floor and Joe lay next to it. when they come close to him they saw a paper in his hand say “I am so so sorry but I can’t take it any more”.
“No Joe no…” His mother screaming.
They bring him to hospital fast that they can. The doctor saw them and run to check him.
“Is he be fine?” His mother ask
“Your son try to commit suicide with many sleeping pills that we give him.” The mother was in shocked. “We will clean his stomach then we will see what we can do.” He say and take Joe bed to the emergency room.

Joe sleep on the bed when all the nurses and the doctor run around him, try to save him. Suddenly he her same voice call him.
“Joe, Joe… Are you OK Joe?” The voice ask him. Joe try to open his eyes slowly and see himself lay on the bed. the room was all white. He saw same thing glowing come in front of him. “Joe” the voice said again. Joe start to recognize the voice.
“Ellen?!”he whisper. She come in front of him wearing white dress looking exactly like an angel. She move her hand on his cheek.
“Joe what you did to you self.” Joe hold her hand.
“I can’t live without you, my life not complete with out you. please take me with you. I Don’t want to live any more.” He see a tears start coming down from her eyes. he wipe them away and kiss her gently.
“I can’t take you with me Joe, You still have life to live.” Joe put his forehead agents hers.
“I can’t live with out you” he whisper to her.
“I know but you must.” She caress his hair. “Your parents need you, your friend need you, my mom need you. There lots of people that still need you down there.” Joe hold her face close to him and close his eyes.
“I need you.” He whisper and tears go down his eyes.
“I will always be there with you” she say and kiss his forehead gently. Joe feel like a small dizzy. “Joe you OK?” She ask him. He hold his head and feel strong hurts. “Joe are you OK?” She ask him again but this pain was so hard.
“Joe talk with me. Joe?” He open his eyes and find him self sleeping on the bed in the hospital when his parents, Ellen mother and his friends around his bed
“Thank god he back to life.” One of his friends say
“Tell me are you go out of your mindץ you scared me the most.” His mother say and hit him.
“Sorry mom.” He say and smile to her. He saw Ellen mother smile to him.
” OK guys. He need same rest, So please leave the room.” The doctor say. They all leave the room.
“Miss evens” Joe call Ellen mother. she smile to him and walk back to him. Before he can say everything she hold his hand and ask.
“You saw her did you?” He nodded his head yes. “Did she ask u to let her go?” He nodded his head again yes. She open her bag and get a latter from it “I think this is for you” Joe take it. she give him a kiss on his forehead and leave the room. Joe start to read the latter and saw that it’s from Ellen

My dear husband Joe. I want to thank you for making my life amazing. from the first time that I saw you, I was know that you will change my life. You teach me a lot about the life and how to enjoy most of it. Even when the cancer saw up, you never give up on me and take me to many amazing place. I know it is not easy for you and we talk about that before but you need to let me go and keep on with your life. I know how much you missed me but remember I will always be there with you. So now it is your time to live the life you want and enjoy it. Don’t wait do it now enjoy your life now.
Love Your wife Ellen

 

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2016 in Short Story, Uncategorized

 

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Rabir FF – True Love never Die (Chapter 17)

RachnaAndKabeer Back

Shail freeze in her place without say a word. Dayal was look on her waiting to hear same answer from her. When suddenly they hear the door bail. Snail go to open the door and saw Rachna standing there when Kabir and Dadi stand behind her. Shail look confused on Rachna and don’t understand what Kabir and Dadi doing there with bags in their hand.
“Rachna… Yeh…” Shail said sound confusing
“Mom, Kt and Dadi need same place to stay and I thought…” Rachna think for a second.
“But rachna…” Shail try to stop her.
“Gayatri stole their home and kt studio.” Snail stay in her place and was shock to heat it.
“Shail, who is it? They hear Dayal voice and see him come to the door. he saw Dadi and kt standing behind Rachna with bags in their hand.
“Papa, Dadi and kt need place to stay” Rachna said. Dadi look worried with tears in her eyes. kt look on Dayal when he know every what he think about him.

Vihaan Sit on the chair in dark room when suddenly a light directed on him. Vihaan Being blinded and cant see noting.
“Our lovely Vihaan. finely I get you.” the voice said
“Gayatri?!” Vihaan ask and saw Gayatri come in front of him with smile on her face.
“You really think you can run from me Vihaan?” she ask him.
“who is running from you?” he ask her back.
“you did.” she said to him and keep smile to him.
Gayatri, I think you didn’t get it. I ask Sonal to tell you about it.” Gayatri stand in her place looking confused on him.
“Any way your plan didn’t work. look what I get.” she saw him the paper. Vihaan look and saw Kabeer signature on it.
“It’s Kabeer Signture.” he said
“You right it is Kabeer Signture.” she said and take the paper away from him. “and now I have his house and his studio, only mine.” Vihaan look angry on her and try to release him self.
“I cant believe that you really his mother.” Vihaan said to her and Gayatri start laughing.
“Believe it honey… and you will see one day he come to me, begging me to get him back his my son.” Gayatri laugh and walk away from there when Vihaan keep try to release himself.

Dayal enter the room and stand in the place. Snail get in the room and close the door behind her.
“No I can’t let it happens, never.” He say in angry voice.
“But Dayal …” Dayal turn to her when he look angry.
“Shail this man destruction my daughter life, I am not going to accept him in my house.” Snail hold his hand.
“I know you hate Nahna right now but at list you care about Dadi. she just pass an heart attack, are you sure you ready to hurt her again. Dayal hear what Shail say and think.

Dadi sit on the sofa and get worry. She look on Kabir that was standing next to her. Kabir Nodded his head and put his hand on Dadi shoulder. Dadi hold his hand and hope to hear same good news from Dayal . Rachna look on them from the side and get worry. she know how much her father hate kabir but she try to stay positive and believe that every thing be ok.
After couple of minutes Dayal and Shail enter to the living room. Dadi come to stand up and Kabir help her.
“I have a decision.” Every one was can’t wait to hear what he decide.
“Nahna and Dadi can stay here until they find place to stay.” Every one was so happy to hear that he allow them to stay.
“But in one condition…” Every was shocked and look on him. “Nahna you have to promise me, that you never get close to Rachna again.” Kabir was shocked to hear it. He looked on Rachna and see Tears in her eyes. He know that he can’t promise it for him but he have to do it for Dadi. he don’t have other option.
“Yes sir… I promise u.” He say when he saw Rachna crying with on her face and leave the living room. Kabir look away and try to hide the tiers that in his eyes. Dadi was not happy for that. she know how much Kabir and Rachna loving each other and finely when they back together, they need to stay away from each other. Dadi decide to move for plan A to plan B and to do every thing to keep them together.

Rachna make the bed and Dadi enter her room.
“Dadi…” Rachnq run to her and hold her hand, helping her enter the room.
“So I guess you will be sharing your room with me for now.” Rachna smiling to her. “I am so sorry Rachna.” Rachna look confused on Dadi.
“What you mean Dadi?” She ask her.
“About the thing that you and Kabir need to stay away from each other.” Rachna try to avoid it and look away.
“No it is noting Dadi.” Rachna help Dadi to sit on the bed and get ready to sleep. She help her to get to the bed and put the blanket on her. “Good night Dadi.”
“Good night dear” Dadi said.
Rachna walk to the other way of the room and thought about what Dadi said.

“I am so sorry Rachna.” Rachna look confused on Dadi.
“What you mean Dadi?” She ask her.
“About the thing that you and Kabir need to stay away from each other.” Rachna try to avoid it and look away.

And what Her father said.
“Nahna you have to promise me, that you never get close to Rachna again.” Kabir was shocked to hear it. He looked on Rachna and see Tears in her eyes. He know that he can’t promise it for him but he have to do it for Dadi. he don’t have other option.
“Yes sir… I promise u.” He say when he saw Rachna crying with on her face and leave the living room. Kabir look away and try to hide the tiers that in his eyes.

Rachna get worry about Kabir and decide to go out Side to check about him before she go to sleep. she take a blanket and walk out from the room. Dadi saw it and smile. now she know that what ever will happens Kabir and Rachna will stay together.

Rachna go to the ruff and see Kabir try to sleep on the sofa and try to cover him self with the only blanket he have.
“Woo… Too much cold in her” Rachna look on him and giggle quietly. “God I know… Woo! I know that I deserve punishment but…butt… In t..this wayyy?” He said and cover all his body with the blanket. only his face was stay exposure .
Rachna sew that he sleeping and come quietly to there and cover him with blanket that she bring with her. She saw how slowly he body  relax and he sleep more Peace. She smile and ready to walk from there when suddenly she feel a hand Holding her hand. she look back and see that Kabir is wake.
“Thank u” he said to her. Rachna smile to him and Nodded with her head. The moon light was glue on Rachna and make her look like an angel. Kabir was can’t stop looking on her. He forget how beautiful she is in side and out side. He can’t believe how they can stay away from each other all this time
He saw how she feel shy from him and look away but suddenly he remember what he premise Dayal.

“Nahna you have to promise me, that you never get close to Rachna again.” Kabir was shocked to hear it. He looked on Rachna and see Tears in her eyes. He know that he can’t promise it for him but he have to do it for Dadi. he don’t have other option.
“Yes sir… I promise u.” He say when he saw Rachna crying with on her face and leave the living room. Kabir look away and try to hide the tiers that in his eyes.

Kabir look how strong he hold Rachna hand and start to release it slowly. Rachna feel his hand releasing her and move her hand quickly from him. Kabir look away. “Thank u Rachna.” Rachna smile to him. “Even I am not deserve it, you come back and stand with me. Thank u.” Kabir said and try to avoid eye connect with her.
“Any one deserve second chance KT” Kabir look on her and see her smiling.”good night KT” she said to him.
“Good night Rachna” Kabir said back and saw Rachna walking away. He remember the words she said and realize that she already forgive him. he go back to sleep with big smile on the face.

 
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Posted by on December 22, 2015 in Fanfic, Uncategorized

 

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I was have to let you go

It’s a old song that I write long ago.train-station-glamorous-woman-leaving-with-suitcase-retro-goodbye-mysterious-lady

I don’t have words to say
I didn’t have other chance
I was have to let you go
I was have to stay away

I standing in your room
In the room where you live day and night
This room stays empty now
Only memories has left

Memories that I will never forget
Good Memories and Bad Memories
Happy Memories and Sad Memories
everyone in one room in the room of my heart

I don’t have words to say
I didn’t have other chance
I was have to let you go
I was have to stay away

I still remember the day you left
The day I decide to let you go
I still remember what I feel in m heart
I still remember how I feel it broken
When I see you go
Go away from me.

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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