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Live without You – Chapter 3

Lonely-Sad-Man-2.19

Joe get back home. He fold his jacket on the floor, Open the tie and throw it on the sofa when he walking to the bedroom. He sit on the bed and Rubs his eyes. He look up and saw their wedding photo set on the wall. He stand up and look closer on it. He remember how much great day it was. they both was so happy in that time, ready to start they life together.

He saw Allen smile and start to hear her laughing in side his mind. He always try his best to keep her happy no matter what. He remember the days when the cancer get more stronger and Ellen lose the ability to stand up and walk. All the days she was stay in the bed. Joe saw how her smile was disappear and did everything to bring it back.
One day he get enough of it. he pick her up on his hand and take her to trip in the city. It was not really a trip but it did help Ellen to forget all the pain and bring her smile back. He was ready to do everything to bring her smile back. But now… Now it is over. This caner take the most important thing in my world.
He get angry. he take the chair that was in the room and throw it on the wall. wedding photo was fold on the floor and the glass get broke. He fold on the knees and start cry. Noting was can stop him from crying. “Ellen why you leave me alone Ellen…” He fold on the floor and cuddle himself.

it was a raining day and  Joe mother was looking from the window, worry about her son.
“Honey are you OK?” Her husband ask her.
“I am fine I am just worried about Joe. I feel like I must go and see if he is OK” she said. her husband come stand next to her and put his hand on her shoulder
“Don’t worry he be fine.”
“no jack. he is not, he still love her. we should go there right now.” She tell him and go to get ready.

His parents get to his house and start knocking on the door but no one answer them them. His mother get more panic and knocked the door more hard.
“Joe, Joe honey open the door” she said but no one answer her.
“Joe please open the door. it’s us your parents, we just want to check how you doing.” But still no one answer them. His father start to bit the door when his mom keep pushing the doors.
When they get to open the door they both run In side. they saw the wedding photo on the floor and Joe lay next to it. when they come close to him they saw a paper in his hand say “I am so so sorry but I can’t take it any more”.
“No Joe no…” His mother screaming.
They bring him to hospital fast that they can. The doctor saw them and run to check him.
“Is he be fine?” His mother ask
“Your son try to commit suicide with many sleeping pills that we give him.” The mother was in shocked. “We will clean his stomach then we will see what we can do.” He say and take Joe bed to the emergency room.

Joe sleep on the bed when all the nurses and the doctor run around him, try to save him. Suddenly he her same voice call him.
“Joe, Joe… Are you OK Joe?” The voice ask him. Joe try to open his eyes slowly and see himself lay on the bed. the room was all white. He saw same thing glowing come in front of him. “Joe” the voice said again. Joe start to recognize the voice.
“Ellen?!”he whisper. She come in front of him wearing white dress looking exactly like an angel. She move her hand on his cheek.
“Joe what you did to you self.” Joe hold her hand.
“I can’t live without you, my life not complete with out you. please take me with you. I Don’t want to live any more.” He see a tears start coming down from her eyes. he wipe them away and kiss her gently.
“I can’t take you with me Joe, You still have life to live.” Joe put his forehead agents hers.
“I can’t live with out you” he whisper to her.
“I know but you must.” She caress his hair. “Your parents need you, your friend need you, my mom need you. There lots of people that still need you down there.” Joe hold her face close to him and close his eyes.
“I need you.” He whisper and tears go down his eyes.
“I will always be there with you” she say and kiss his forehead gently. Joe feel like a small dizzy. “Joe you OK?” She ask him. He hold his head and feel strong hurts. “Joe are you OK?” She ask him again but this pain was so hard.
“Joe talk with me. Joe?” He open his eyes and find him self sleeping on the bed in the hospital when his parents, Ellen mother and his friends around his bed
“Thank god he back to life.” One of his friends say
“Tell me are you go out of your mindץ you scared me the most.” His mother say and hit him.
“Sorry mom.” He say and smile to her. He saw Ellen mother smile to him.
” OK guys. He need same rest, So please leave the room.” The doctor say. They all leave the room.
“Miss evens” Joe call Ellen mother. she smile to him and walk back to him. Before he can say everything she hold his hand and ask.
“You saw her did you?” He nodded his head yes. “Did she ask u to let her go?” He nodded his head again yes. She open her bag and get a latter from it “I think this is for you” Joe take it. she give him a kiss on his forehead and leave the room. Joe start to read the latter and saw that it’s from Ellen

My dear husband Joe. I want to thank you for making my life amazing. from the first time that I saw you, I was know that you will change my life. You teach me a lot about the life and how to enjoy most of it. Even when the cancer saw up, you never give up on me and take me to many amazing place. I know it is not easy for you and we talk about that before but you need to let me go and keep on with your life. I know how much you missed me but remember I will always be there with you. So now it is your time to live the life you want and enjoy it. Don’t wait do it now enjoy your life now.
Love Your wife Ellen

 

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2016 in Short Story, Uncategorized

 

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Confident Zone

Same time confident zone is it the safest place to live in. but it also not the best place to stay in at. Confident zone it like leaving in a transparency box, when the live outside it running and you live inside your own world.
Same time you watch out side and wish you can be also like them. Like the people who live outside. Without fear, with lots of self-confident and believe in their self.
Every time I try to walk outside from my confident zone I always regret about it and find myself back to my transparency box, wishing that I will never do that again.

Until one day. Same man was walking next to my transparency box and look inside at. When I feel that same one watching me, I was starting to get frightened. I turn and saw a Swarthy guy. His hair was Bouncy and little bit wild. He was had big invasive eyes And Stubble on his face.
In the beginning I was afraid. I think that he one of that mans, that enjoy watching on us the ladies. Suddenly I saw him smile to me and view to me with his hand. The other people that was around looked on him and don’t understand what he do. Even I don’t understand him.
He point to me to come to him. When I come close to him, I was amazed from the Magic that he had in his eyes. They were shining, like the sun light hit them. I come close to him. Only the transparency wall was separates us. I don’t know what to do. One side of me was so sure and confident, but the other side of me was confused.
He point to me why you cry? You need to smile. I look on him and start thinking. What he thinks he is. Like it’s easy for me to smile. He don’t know what happened in my life, he don’t know what my situation is, he don’t know why I am lonely.
I get angry and walk back from there. I was so angry. How man who I never meet can come and said to me that I should smile. But in the same time I feel same thing weird when I see him. I don’t know what this feeling woes. I was think maybe I should look back on him again, maybe then I will understand. But when I look back he was not there. In the same moment I was feel like I lost him. I lost the choice to be happy and all this was Disappeared because my fear. I hated myself in that moment. I was got the choice in my hand, to go and live good life. The choice to get out from this box, to break all the walls. To go out to Breathing Fresh air without fear. But what the matter now I lost it.
After couple of minute I start to hear a noise of glass smash. I was Afraid again. When I look back I saw that he back and he broking the wall glass. I didn’t know what to do. I try to stop him but he didn’t stop. He hit the wall with a stone and slowly all the wall was broke. He dropped the stone on the floor. When I saw him standing there, I saw like there light around him that light all the transparency box.

He starts to walk in and enter my transparency box. I start walk back and ask him to stop but he didn’t stop. Any steps He did was scared me. Every step that I did, he did two steps forward. After couple of steps I find myself close to the inside wall of the box. He keeps walking to me. I start to blame myself how I was think that I lost the choice to live good life, when now the situation is more bad than I thought. I look down and feel Shame on myself, me and my wishes. I feel that he stand up next to me. When I look for a minute I saw him smile to me. In that moment I thought that it. There no more choice, no more confident zone.
He catches my hand. All the people were looking on us. I start to think what he doing? What he wanted for me? What handsome man like him wants from me? I am only simple girl.  He holds my hand and said to me.
“you need to release yourself. You confined is in a cage. You must go out from here.” He said and start drags me to the outside.
“no. I am not going out.” I scream and release myself from him.
He looks back on me in Shock. “You even don’t know me, you don’t know my situation.”
“You are right. I don’t know you, I don’t know in what situation you are, But I Know one thing. That what you doing to yourself it not right and it not ok to confined yourself in a cage like a bird. From what you afraid of? From what you scared of? If you not go out from here now you never will and no one will know about you. And who know what will happen later.” He catches my hand and drags me again. Any steps that I do to outside, I keep hesitate.
“one minute, what people will say?” he keep drag me
“let them say what they want.”
“and if they judge me?” I ask him.
“Let them. There a big Judge up there.”
“if they don’t like me?” he stops in the place and look back on me.
“You need to like yourself.” The words he said hit me. I start to realize that he do understand me, even he don’t know me. The words he said was talk to me and start to resonate in my head. He keep walking and my hand Dropped from his hand. He looks back again.
“I can’t do it.” I said to him. “My mind tries to control me. How much he not wants to change. How my old Thoughts still control me.”
“you can do it.” He said and come in front me.
“You were right. I really should go out from here. But I can’t.”
“but why?” he ask
“I am afraid.” I said to him.
“there are noting to afraid from. I am with you.” He holds my hand. I release my hand fast from him
“why you try to helping me? I even don’t know you.”
“because you have to get out from here.”
“that I already know. But why you help me? What people will say?”
“Let them say what they want?” I look around and saw the people laugh on us.
“No really look on me.” He looks on me. “People always judge me by the way I am.”
“No one judges you. It’s only you.” That moment he said that I hate that. But then he explains. “We all made by god. The Moon is beautiful right? The sea is beautiful right? The birds that singing in the morning, the smell of the rain. They are all beautiful and they all made by god, the one that also made you, me, and us. They not judge you, you judge yourself. You have negative Thoughts about yourself and you have to change it.
“But I am not beautiful.” I said to him.
“That all lie.” He screams. “You good girl, you sweet and nice girl, you smart girl, you have big heart and your ready to help everyone and yes you are beautiful.” Suddenly tears come from my eyes. I even don’t know why I cry. “It’s you this is only you. You so smart, good girl and so beautiful that you make me love you the first moment I Saw you. I love you.” I was can’t believe he said that. I was in Shocked. “Yes crazy you. I say that I love you.” I Start cry he come close to me and hug me.

Suddenly there was again noise of glass smashes. When I looked I saw all the wall of the box start folding one by one. In that moment I know, that this guy will change my life and I was know I don’t need confident zone any more I have self confident inside me.

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Short Story

 

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